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DEAR CHRISTINE: I think that if there were a bureau of the Telephone Police, you’d do well to turn yourself in and surrender your cell phone before you do something you’ll regret.
Joy Hunter, who specializes in couples and individual therapy, believes it’s possible for two people to be having the same (yet fundamentally different) relationship. It’s fun to be romantic and coupleish and playing at being in love; without having “the conversation,” a pair could go on billing and cooing indefinitely. Just be glad he didn’t lead you on selfishly with a half-hearted “love you too, baby” and a quick change of topic.
Hunter points out the guy was as upfront and honest about his expectations as you were about yours. Credit where credit is due – don’t you go changing now in an effort to get him back.
It’s hard to hear the truth some times, particularly when it’s one that not only points out an unhappy reality, but dashes future hopes as well.
But now you know. If you’re clear about what you want from the start (though you needn’t feel compelled to list “marriage, a house in the suburbs and two children – twins” on a first date), you’ll waste a lot less time dating people who will disappoint.
So don’t call. Save your quarter – and your caring – for someone who will appreciate it.
DEAR JANE: I hate my teeth.
I’ve always had wide gaps between my top four front teeth, but what was somewhat cute as a kid is making me increasingly uncomfortable as the years go by. I finally thought “enough!” but when I told my husband, he told me he loves me just the way I am and reminded me we’ve been saving to put a new deck on the house! We always said we’d both have to agree to any large expenditure.
What can I say to convince him this isn’t just a vain whim?
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